Stepping out of the friend zone

The infamous friend zone. By now we have all heard about it, heard other’s complain about it, or heaven-forbid, been in that dreaded zone ourselves.

So what exactly defines this elusive zone that so many find uncomfortable?

Well, to me, it’s that comfortable space where you take someone from the opposite sex and remove any inkling of a possibility of ever allowing anything more to develop. A space so safe that ghastly things like burping or farting could be socially appropriate.

Nonetheless, it is a space where anything goes, or a space where, as many men would say ‘Having a girlfriend with none of the benefits’. I have found that it is the perfect best friend (of the opposite sex or the sex you are attracted to) that hops along for all your errands.

But that ‘perfect’ bestie might, well, want something, a little more. The day when this familiar space becomes a bit hazy and confusing and the walls to the territory that is marked ‘The FriendZone’ falls down bit by bit, and instead of dropping all defences (because you were always comfy with this BFF of yours), rather, the walls begin to shape into something completely new, into a space that is both comfortable and familiar but new and exciting.

A space where exploration is the name of the game and discovery and thrill invades. Yet fear and familiarity makes it just a tiny bit weird, yet not so weird. And at the same time as you embrace this new space you finally find yourself in (After years in fact - because the friend zone, while it often happens overnight, is more typified by the kind of familial relationship where you dismiss any possibility of ever taking anything farther).

Have you ever taken a leap out of this zone to find comfort in a new territory or do you think that the friend zone is a safe space that cannot be broken in pursuit of something more, in pursuit of something bliss in a way that friendship never really was?

Or, have you ever accidentally friend-zoned a potential suitor?

Once out of the friend zone though, is there any going back?


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